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Crews Union

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Sam Woolner View Drop Down
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Joined: 06 May 2010
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sam Woolner Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Crews Union
    Posted: 12 February 2015 at 17:38
Digging around I found the Crews Union Rules from an old Mainsheet.

Quite a fan of the Crews Union! 

1. Thou shalt not touch the helm unless the helmsman has fallen out, has died or has passed out drunk.

2. Thou shalt not touch the mainsheet when gybing.

3. Thou shalt not let thy helmsman touch thee, or thy gyb or spinnaker sheets unless it under they strict instruction.

4. Thou shalt go stone deaf if thy helmsman shall yell or scream abuse at thee when sailing.

5. Thy shalt not trespass into thy helmsmans cockpit, or any area that is specifically his; unless the safety of thine own skin is in doubt.

6. Thou shalt not help to de-rig the boat until thy thirst has been quenched by thy helmsman, or his female attendant.

7. Boats shall only take to the water at the discretion of the crew.

8. Thou shalt not spill thy beer, nor that of any other crew.

9. Though shalt not blow thy nose in the spinnaker, nor commit any foul nuisance therein.

10. Thou shalt conduct thyself with decorum in the presence of thy helmsman, if thou consider it is fit.

11. Thou shalt cover thy helmsman's bird, and any other helmsman's bird.

12. Honour thy El Presidente and his officers when standing at the bar, that thy days may be long and happy in the class.

13. Thou shalt not refer to El Presidente as " Fat Fisher", nor shalt thou make any graven image unto him.

14. Thou shalt not sail in more than one boat at a time.

15. Thou shalt not covet thy rival crews jib sheets, spinnaker sheets, sliding seat or spinny pole.

16. Thou shalt not be oblighed to fill thy spinnaker with wind.

17. Thou shalt not commit adultery with more than one helmsman/s bird at a time.

18. Though shalt not vomit in the boat - EVER

19. Thou shalt not shout at thy helmsmans indiscetion, nor shalt thou make comment at it hoever justified thou feels that thy verbal reaction might be. The laws of thy calling are hard but thou must realise that he is doing his best however bad things are.

2108 Ultimatum

Exe Sails & Covers

Topsham

WWW.EXESAILS.COM

07894856748
[email protected]
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mikethelark View Drop Down
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Joined: 26 February 2006
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mikethelark Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 February 2015 at 10:22
Nice one Sam. Your card is suitably marked - you haven't seen my crew's incentive scheme yet, it's similar to Indiana Jones's, but with nine tails! HA!

I wonder if that's why I struggle for a crew . . . . 
Mike O
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Southpaw View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Southpaw Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 February 2015 at 14:35
The crew's union rules were written in the days when the Hornet carried a sliding seat and crew's were tough and usually drunk. Now that the crews wander around in their St George's Jubilee Trusses the rules may need re-writing.

What addition rules are now needed - any suggestions.

You could almost make this a competition for the Dinghy Exhibition!

Peter Ex Hornet 684 and 690.  
Southpaw
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